I rarely get personal on here, as Clean Canvas is a space for updates on the brand, all things clean beauty, mindful living, and leaning into industry challenges and trends. However, as the founder of ITP, I wanted to talk about something that’s been on my mind a lot over the past month because it’s a really important part of the brand and of being a founder within a wellness community.
Last week was a hard one. Lots of growing pains and learnings. Ultimately, I know this makes me a better person, a better leader, and enables me to make adjustments along the way to build a better brand. I am so proud of what I have built from nothing. I am so proud of the community we are building, and the consumers who reach out and email just to say hi, request a new product, or give feedback. We have actually had people email just to tell us to keep going and share how much they support us. Are you kidding? The kindest. The community of shoppers, clean beauty lovers, and general advocates for doing good in the world makes my heart glow. I never want to forget that this is why I started this brand. Not just to sell skincare, but to make a difference in experience, one that is infectious to your neighbors and the organizations around you.
What isn’t always seen is what happens behind the scenes. It can be intense at times, but I really do try to see the struggle as part of the process, because it’s where the learnings come from and how we build something better for the consumer. Something more thoughtful, more useful, and something that can also do more good in collaboration with "do better" organizations throughout Los Angeles and across the country.
The reality is there are often 14-hour days, and most days are spent juggling 20 different things at once that are completely unrelated. Startup life. A lot of care goes into every detail, along with hours of product testing and refinement as we work toward products that genuinely simplify people’s routines and perform in real life whilst also being verified clean.
On a personal level, there have been trade-offs. Time with loved ones, time to rest, and stepping away from a corporate career I spent two decades building. There are moments of discomfort in that shift, and I have also had to learn to lean on my husband in new ways while holding the emotional weight of building something from the ground up. Feeling responsible for a brand and the people and organizations we work with. The struggle is real.
But also - I wouldn’t change it. I feel in my gut it is temporary.
It is not always easy, but it is meaningful. And even on the harder days, I remind myself this is part of building something real.
I often relate this back to my origin, my childhood, and my upbringing. This isn’t something I talk about often. I have learned to share it in a way that can sound like it hasn’t affected me, but the truth is I am just numb to how adverse and intense my upbringing was. I never knew where food was going to come from. I was in a constant state of fear. My childhood was hard, adverse, and lonely, to say the least. I find myself reverting back to that place of fear within the struggle of being a new founder for an indie brand. I guess because I worked so hard for 20 years to get to a stable place, only to disrupt it again. I take responsibility and hold weight for that. The struggle is a familiar place for me, and that is scary. But as I moved through what felt like the worst week almost ever, ha-ha, last week, I came out feeling enlightened. I chose to be here. I am doing something good. And every time I see a new consumer, get an incredible email, or we help the community through one of the organizations we work with, helping spread inclusivity and safety through beauty, my fear subsides. This has purpose. It is not just beauty products, it is community and solution.
So I guess what I am trying to say is that I am stoked to be here. Yes, there is a lot of struggle that people don’t see but it is worth it. And after the worst week ever, I am even more convinced I am moving in the right direction.
So cheers to ITP, community and clean beauty. If you are reading this - welcome, and thank you for supporting.
X ~Oni